Erasing: Shadows Read online

  "Just?!" said Scruff, offended.

  "Oh excuse me, oh great apprentice," joked Ada Jo.

  "That's better," said Scruff, who appeared mollified, even if it was a joke.

  Mira had learned not to be surprised at much anymore. Ada Jo said he would show up at some point, and here he was. She tried to think back. He had some kind of lesson to teach...that's right.

  "So Scruff, would you mind demonstrating the particular aspect of your problem to Mira?" Ada Jo talked this way to placate him. "It would really help Mira out as I think she suffers from something similar."

  Scruff looked Mira up and down. "Really. She looks normal to me."

  "Well that's why you're an apprentice," said Ada Jo, losing patience. "Will you or won't you? We're on a schedule here."

  Mira didn't know they were on a schedule, or perhaps Ada Jo was just saying that to motivate Scruff. Everything Ada Jo did had seemed so off-the-cuff. Could she be trying to help Mira in a methodical way? Mira tried to remember to ask her that later. Her own mind seemed different. Like she was thinking older than she had before.

  "Mira, I do think you've grown a bit in the last few minutes," observed Ada Jo.

  Mira looked in a mirror on the wall. Sure enough, she looked about fifteen rather than twelve. She towered over Ada Jo. Ada Jo didn't seem to mind though. She was as bossy as ever.

  "Well, Scruff?" she said again.

  "Okay," said Scruff, "because I am supposed to teach. But promise you won't be too mean this time."

  "I promise," said Ada Jo, winking at Mira.

  "Okay," she said to Mira. "I want you to watch this very closely. This is a demonstration of what can happen here. I don't want you to take your eyes off of Scruff for one second. Understood?"

  "Got it," said Mira, excited. What was she about to learn?

  Ada Jo had Scruff sit in a chair. Then she whispered to Mira, "Scruff has a thing about baths, left over from his parents. It's the one particular unconscious thing we haven't been able to get rid of. So watch."

  "Scruff," said Ada Jo, "you need a bath!"

  "No, I don't," said Scruff, who had obviously been through this before.

  "Scruff, yes you do," said Ada Jo with harshness in her voice.

  Scruff's eyes changed a bit. "No, I don't, I really don't. I took one last night."

  "Last night!" said Ada Jo with derision. "Look at you! Why do you think your nickname is Scruff! You need one today. In fact you should have had one this morning!"

  That was all it took. Mira had been staring at Scruff the whole time. When his eyes first changed, it was like they became more childlike. But with the last comment, Scruff's whole body changed. He was suddenly around eight, sitting in the chair in front of Ada Jo with a pout on his lips. If Mira could believe her eyes, it seemed like he was …sulking?

  Ada Jo changed her tone. "Now Scruff, I know you had a bath last night. That is a good boy. As long as you have one tonight too, after you play, everything will be fine. Okay?"

  Scruff looked up at her with a genuine smile.

  Ada Jo continued, "Now you be a good boy and go out and play." But Mira noticed she said it with just a bit of condescension.

  Scruff was immediately fifteen again. "Hey! Don't tell me what to do. I'm not a kid!"

  Ada Jo clapped as if she were an audience. Scruff immediately caught on. "Wow, that went well, didn't it," he said.

  "Yep!" said Ada Jo. "Good job, Scruff. And thank you from coming all the way down from the mountain for us."

  "Hey," said Scruff. "If a master calls, I answer." Ada Jo shot him a dirty look. Scruff caught it and said, "I'll just be moseying on my way. Nice to meet you, Mira."

  "Likewise," said Mira. She sat down to think.

  Ada Jo said nothing but went to get some tea.

  Mira thought, There may not have been tea in the house, who knows, but one thing was for sure, Ada Jo would find some somewhere.

  When Ada Jo came back, Mira had questions. "First, how old am I? And second, what is the problem that is keeping me young? I mean it all makes sense. Why I'm not in the Circle of Lost Children. Why I grew twice already at different times. I just can't quite put it together."

  Ada Jo spoke with gravity, "You will, dear, you will."

  Mira looked up quickly at Ada Jo— but no, she lost it too fast.

  Ada Jo noticed. "There was something?"

  Mira answered, "Yeah, but I lost it."

  "Don't worry Mira, it will all turn out all right," said the four-year-old, comforting the now fifteen-year-old.

  "It's time to hike on," said Ada Jo. "To our last place. You remember the rhyme I told you, right?"

  Mira thought back and repeated, "Never, never cross the Bridge of Forever."

  "Good," said Ada Jo. She took Mira's hand and led her down the next path.

  ***

  Michael was still in the Circle of Nothing, but he was close, he could feel it. He also perceived Mira, but not the apparition of the grotesque Mira, he sensed the real part of her somewhere. That gave him courage. He touched her locket again. The real was out there, and he was going to get to it if it killed him. Wait. That was it…There was less gray fog and fewer manifestations, except the ones of his family. He ignored those and went deep into thought about paradoxes. The paradox of this place was that it was based on fear but that it took its ammunition from the unconscious, so the person was helpless to combat it. The consciousness didn't even come into play, except for minor things like learning to ignore the attack and learning to think hard, despite the ongoing chaos outside the person.

  He thought some more. What if the consciousness could have a voice and a stake in the action? Then there would be a level playing field. He wasn't sure what would happen but at least there was a fighting chance. He went back to basics in his mind. What were things that everyone was afraid of, but that the consciousness could have some control over? He mulled it over: Public Speaking. Drowning. Falling. Loneliness. Death.

  That was it! He had it. If he had the courage, that was. He could see no other way of defeating the paradox though. The thing is, he reminded himself, I brought my real body here, just in case it was needed. But then again, nothing here in this circle is real. So there should be little danger except the one of staying too long. And if he didn't get out of this pit soon Mira would be in danger of disappearing. Mira's apparition swooped by again at the thought.

  He could do this. He could. He began to prepare. The first thing he did was consciously tap into his fear of drowning. Then he reminded himself that his body was real, the locket he brought with him was real, but that anything in this circle, even something that seemed like it could kill him, was just a manifestation. At that, a deep lake appeared next to him and apparitions of family members drowning were in the middle. It was hard to watch. He tried to ignore the pull to go save them. He reminded himself to stay focused. He concentrated on his fear of drowning and the death that would result. Then it happened.

  Water began to rise in the circle around him and over him. The wetness, the swirling motion of the waves began to encompass him. He dragged his fingers through the water. Do I have the courage to go through with this? He wondered. Then he thought of Mira, waiting, or in trouble and became determined. He fingered her locket again. When the water reached his chest, he regretted for a moment not fearing warm water. Well, there was no need to wait for it slowly to overtake him. It was uncomfortable. He was shivering.

  Was he ready? The water had reached his neck. It's now or never! He gave the middle finger to the whole bloomin' circle. "Eff you!" he yelled. And with that, he took a conscious action against his fear. He lay back, let the water overtake him, and breathed in deep. He focused on his love for his wife. He held the locket over his chest.

  Michael had a few seconds of real fear that he would drown and never see Mira again. He could feel the water enter his throat and lungs. Eff you! he thought again with the last of his consciousness.

  The next thing he knew, he was
laying on the ground next to Jonathan, outside the circle. Jonathan was looking at him with concern. Michael looked a wreck. He obviously hadn't chosen the easy way out.

  First Michael kissed the ground, he was so happy his idea worked, he couldn't even express it. Next, he let Jonathan help him up to a sitting position and took some water from one of the bottles Jonathan offered. Despite what he had been though, he was parched. He told Jonathan the story. Jonathan's eyes grew wide in amazement.

  ***

  Jonathan, for his part, didn't know whether to tell Michael there was an alternate way or not. He saw that Michael was proud of what he'd done. Oh well, maybe another time. Jonathan was too proud of his brother’s accomplishment to lessen it through correction.

  But it was Michael who brought it up. He wanted to know other ways out. Were there any?

  "Um, yeah," said Jonathan. "But are you sure you're up to hearing them now?"

  "Yes," said Michael. "This is information that should have gone in our book a long time ago. I don't want anyone to have to go through that again. I mean, they might not figure a way out, then what!"

  "Okay," said Jonathan, "since you asked. There are several ways out."

  "Really," said Michael, nonplussed.

  Jonathan asked again. "Are you sure you want to hear them?"

  "Yes!" said Michael. "Just tell me!"

  "Okay, well the first obvious one is beyond our abilities. Only Masters of this area can do it and that is to quiet your mind completely, then everything stops and you can just walk out. But I've never known anyone who could do it that way."

  "No kidding," said Michael. He was still out of breath and drinking Jonathan's water like he'd been in the desert.

  "I have another bottle of water if you need it," Jonathan said. "It's the energy this place takes. It's not that you're really thirsty, it's that your body has expended all of its energy and needs sustenance. It's harder on you because your real body is here."

  "Makes sense," said Michael, taking another swig. He munched on some of the stale, leftover crackers Jonathan had in his pocket as well.

  Jonathan continued. "The second one wouldn't have worked for you since you have your real body here, but for anyone else, all they have to do is focus on their real body back in bed or wherever, and do something physical like swallow or clear their throat over and over and they'll quickly find themselves out of here and back in the real world, wherever their real body is."

  "That one is good to know," said Michael.

  "The other two are along the same vein as yours, they're just easier to go through," said Jonathan. "The first one you make a car and drive the car off the road. You will find yourself out of the circle as soon as you drive the car off the road."

  "Damn," said Michael. "Why didn't I think of that?"

  "The second one," Jonathan continued, "is to jump out of a building high up. You find yourself outside the circle as soon as you jump."

  "Damn," said Michael. "I sure did it the hard way."

  "Yes you did, brother," said Jonathan smiling. He put his arm around Michael. " I'm very proud of you."

  Michael smiled. "I'm feeling better now, are you ready to continue?"

  "Heck yeah!" said Jonathan, buoyed by Michael's feat of bravery. "Let's get on it!"

  Jonathan helped Michael up, and, after the first few stumbles walking, he was fine. The two set off again toward the Thomas Farmhouse.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The Bridge of Forever

  "Never, never cross the Bridge of Forever," Mira and Ada Jo sang their cadence while they hiked the rest of the way to the Emergency Meeting Place from the farmhouse.

  ***

  Ed and the gang hung around the area of the Emergency Meeting Place all the way to the pond, where some had decided to nap for a while.

  ***

  Michael and Jonathan had just made it to the Thomas Farmhouse.

  "Things have changed," said Michael. "Before Mira's whole family was here, and the place was lived in, even though the people weren't real. Now, it's an old abandoned house."

  "I think that's a good sign," said Jonathan. "It means Mira, on some level, has accepted that this isn't the real world."

  "I should have been here with her." Michael frowned He began to furrow his brows. "Stop that thought immediately!" said Jonathan. "I don't know this whole reality. If there's an island of regret here or something, you'll be in deep shit."

  "You're right," said Michael. "Man, you really have to be careful here. I swear, when we were young, we didn't have any of these problems."

  "I think we were so dumb and positive and full of adventure, we probably protected ourselves without even knowing," mused Jonathan.

  "Probably right," said Michael, "let's keep going."

  ***

  Ada Jo was first to see the group hanging around the Emergency Meeting Place. She also saw some figures down at the pond. Well, it was now or never, she thought.

  "Mira," she said, turning Mira away from the sight, "Are you ready to get your real life back?"

  Mira looked at Ada Jo. She trusted her with all her might. Was she ready to figure out the truth? Yes, she was.

  "Yes," she said solemnly, "I am." After all, she had learned so much through her travels with Ada Jo, and she knew something had happened, just like with Scruff—she decided to get Ada Jo's opinion on this.

  "Something happened to me, just like with Scruff, didn't it" she asked, her eyes full of trust. "Only I haven't popped back. Some of the things you've shown me helped me figure myself out a little so I'm older than when I started. Is that right?"

  "Yes, sweetie," said the four-year-old. "You've got it exactly right. But you realize this isn't a game right?" Ada Jo took her walking stick and drew a line on the ground. "You're up to here," she said pointed at one side of the line. "If you want to know the truth, you have to cross, and there is no going back. Do you understand? It might not be pleasant. Are you ready for the truth?"

  Ada Jo was frightening her. What could be so bad that I'm frozen at fifteen?

  ***

  Stu was with Ed and Lu, but feeling faint and queasy. He guessed it was the draw of energy from Ed/Trina. "Guys," he said, "I think I need to go back to the real world, like pretty fast. I'm getting sick. I need to lie down and eat some real food. The attachment between Trina and me within Ed—well I'm sure I'll get used to it, but right now, I'm about to fall down."

  Lu went to hug Stu. "Oh, Stu, thank you so much for what you've done. Of course you should go home and rest!"

  Ed agreed. "Do you need help?" he asked.

  "No, I can make it," said Stu. He'd gotten out of bad jams before. This was nothing. "Tell the rest of the gang I'll see them later." He started concentrating on his real body. Within minutes he was gone from the astral and back in his apartment. He quickly lay down on the couch. Stu had a feeling he was about to miss everything exciting, but it couldn't be helped. He gulped down a bag of peanuts on the table, and then fell into a deep sleep.

  ***

  Ada Jo spoke quickly. She knew time was running out. She saw the other gang up front, figured that Michael and Jonathan would be following them, and catch up at any time. "Mira," she said, "I am going to grow a little older, okay? I don't want to scare you, but we are going to be with other people soon, and I need to be older. Is that okay with you?"

  Mira was so used to this little girl in big shoes, she didn't know what to say. "How old?"

  "Just your age to start. Okay? But later I may need to get older." She grabbed Mira's hand. "But it's still me. Understand? Just like it's still you when you get older."

  Mira understood this intellectually but the idea still frightened her a bit. Ada Jo as she knew her was the only constant here. And they had become such good friends!

  "It'll be fine," said Ada Jo. "I promise it will all work out in the end."

  "Okay," said Mira with doubt. She twirled her hair around her finger. "Okay."

  ***

  "Michae
l!" yelled Jonathan with exasperation.

  "I know," said Michael in a tired voice.

  The closer they got to the Emergency Meeting Place the more worry brambles appeared in their way. The men had to work their way through thick vines . Jonathan produced a hacksaw from thin air.

  "Wow, you have been learning from Stu," said Michael.

  "No, not Stu," answered Jonathan mysteriously. Before Michael could ask, he continued, "And I can't divulge that information."

  "Man. Why am I in the dark about everything?" complained Michael.

  "You won't be for long," said Jonathan. "Not much longer."

  "Why? You think Mira will be at the Emergency Meeting Place ?"

  "Yeah," said Jonathan. "She wasn't before, but I think she will be now."

  Michael sighed with relief. Many of the worry brambles disappeared.

  "That's more like it." Jonathan put away the hacksaw.by causing it to disappear. "But remember," he cautioned. "We don't know what state she'll be in, so don't go rushing in. Just lay back and observe until we can get our bearings about what's going on."

  "All right," said Michael. "But it won't be easy." He wanted to rush up and hug her and never let her go.

  "Well just remember, she probably won't remember you so you could just as easily scare her as help her."

  "Right," said Michael with sadness in his voice.

  "Don't worry bro," said Jonathan. "It will all work out in the end. I'm sure of it"

  Michael did not feel very comforted by his younger brother, but what other positive thought did he have to hang on to?

  ***

  Ada Jo had grown to age fifteen. Mira was having a hard time getting used to her. Ada Jo still spoke the same but her face was so different.

  "I guess people change a lot between four and fifteen," Mira said.

  "Yeah, all through their lives, sweetie;" said Ada Jo. "All through their lives."

  "Hmm," Mira had the first inkling of a distasteful thought. Ada Jo ignored it.

  "Now Mira," said Ada Jo, more serious than Mira had ever seen her.

  Is this what growing up did?